Every child has an individual temperament from birth, it determines the behavior of the baby in the early stages of development. It is advisable to start educational activities from the moment the child realizes his personality. The psychology of raising a child 2-3 years old includes tips that contribute to the diverse and harmonious development of the individual. According to the behavior of a 2-3-year-old baby, it is too early to judge what his character will be in adulthood. He only learns to control himself, and parents should help him with this.
Child psychology at 2 years old
A phenomenon such as a crisis of two years is familiar to many parents of babies. Sometimes a child at this age literally changes, begins to stubborn at every step and show disobedience. He rejects any demands with childish stubbornness and with the help of protest affirms his “I”.
The psychology of a child at the age of 2 of both a girl and a boy undergoes significant changes. At this time, the baby begins to realize his personality, he learns to control his body and control the natural functions. He understands that he is not one with his mother, but represents an autonomous personality.
To emphasize its independence, the baby resists any requests and in every way counteracts the pressure of the parents. Only by contrasting himself with adults does he embark on the path of individualization. Parents just need to survive this period, because without it, further formation is impossible.
Features of the psychological development of a child of 2 years:
- The kid learns to imitate. Parent or teacher for him is the standard.
- Speech quickly develops and vocabulary is replenished. The baby can perform complex actions at the request of the parent. He is trying to understand what adults are talking about and take part in the conversation.
- He is not yet very interested in peers. His favorite type of activity is the study of objects, and at this stage, you need to help the child study their properties.
- The baby begins to master generally accepted norms of behavior.
- He is not able to plan his actions and actions. The child acts spontaneously, under the influence of an impulse.
- The kid examines his body and its properties in various positions, begins to use facial expressions.
The kid tries to manage himself physically and psychologically (sits down on the pot on his own, refuses to fulfill requests, runs away from the adult during a walk). At the age of 2, a sense of autonomy appears in the child’s psychology, which needs reinforcement.
Adults need patience and flexibility. No need to try to break the child’s stubbornness, but you cannot infinitely inferior, there is a risk of raising a home tyrant. It is better to distract the baby, turn his attention to something interesting and fun. This will help to avoid confrontation. It is necessary to praise the child for each achievement, to stimulate his creativity and imagination. He should feel that his opinion is respected and considered as an adult. But in things relating to the health and safety of the baby, one should be firm. He quickly learns that in some cases, perseverance is useless.
Features of behavior and psychology of the child 2-3 years of life
We are not talking about the correct behavior of the baby until he is 3 years old. At this time, his actions are dictated by the characteristics of temperament. A child can behave unpredictably, changing his preferences many times during the day.
The psychology of children from 2 to 3 years old has its own characteristics:
- A craving for new activities awakens. At this point, it is important to provide an opportunity for their development.
- Kids make a breakthrough in mental development. Exercises should be aimed at developing motor skills, applications, modeling, lacing are suitable. These activities improve imaginative thinking and memory.
The psychology and development of a child of 2.5 years is characterized by the appearance of independent studies and the formation of imagination. It is not necessary to load the baby with developmental exercises, it is useful for him to make toys. It is advisable to purchase several dolls, cubes, animals and a designer. At the age of two, a child builds intricate structures out of toys. He feeds, puts to sleep dolls and animals. In this case, the baby speaks on behalf of each of the characters. These are normal psychological characteristics of the behavior of children 2-3 years old.
To develop the memory of a preschooler, one must read poetry to him. If the baby is able to easily remember small verses, then you can try to learn other information (names and surnames of relatives, address, age). It is advisable to read fairy tales and poems every day, this helps to develop speech. Pushkin's fairy tales, verses by Barto, Chukovsky and Marshak will do. At 2–3 years old, children learn new languages well, this time should be used to study them, especially if the parents of the child are of different nationalities.
The psychology of children 2-3 years old is such that difficulties with the emotional state often arise. The kid finds out the boundaries of his influence by protest. At this age, the child seeks to do everything on his own. So that this desire does not disappear, it is necessary to allow him simple actions that he can master.
Strict prohibitions often lead to tantrums and aggression. Therefore, the psychology of raising children under 3 years old includes the presentation of information in the form of a game. This will relieve tension and prevent a fit of hysteria. At this age, the first manifestations of anxiety are possible.
If psychological trauma was received at this age against stress, fears, and fear, in the future a person will need psychological help, which should be provided by a specialist, for example, psychologist-psychologist Baturin Nikita Valerevich.
Speech and articulation skills development
At two years old, the child understands a lot and often speaks well, his vocabulary is quickly updated. You need to talk with the baby as often as possible. It is noticed that with silent parents, children learn speech much later. Phrases should be concise, but at the same time emotionally colored. You can not distort words when talking with a child.
Children who have sisters and brothers speak well at the age of 2 years. They are explained in simple phrases about what is interesting to the baby. Older children use actions and teams to perform in their games. This contributes to the development of speech skills. In games with peers, this is not.
In the games of two-year-old children, an adult or an older child should participate, who initiates joint actions (for example, making Easter cakes, building a house). This will help kids act collectively, compete and interact through speech.
The manual on child psychology for parents of babies 2-3 years of life recommends:
- play games with imitation of sounds. Kids love it and at the same time develops articulation skills,
- look at books and ask him to finish simple phrases,
- pronounce or sing complex words,
- to study the properties of objects, for example, soft toys (color, size, temperature, etc.),
- Learn tongue twisters and songs.
Parents play an important role in the formation of the baby's speech. Much depends on their efforts and patience. But you should not harass the baby with continuous classes and comments. The development of speech should be in the form of a game and end at the moment when the preschooler loses interest and his attention is scattered.
Psychology of boys and girls before and after 2 years of distinction
At the beginning of 3 years of life, babies begin to realize their belonging to one of the sexes. Up to 2 years of age, sexual identity is absent. Awareness comes earlier if the child attends a children's team. It can be noted by the division of children into groups for joint play.
Psychology features of a child of 2-3 years old, boys:
- They don’t like repetitions in training,
- perceive information more visually than by ear. So they’d better show than tell
- Despite popular belief, boys are sometimes more emotional than girls. Do not forbid them to cry if there is a good reason for this,
- Boys use long-range vision more, so they need a lot of space for entertainment. They love outdoor activities (catch-ups, battles, ball games),
- they love toys that involve transformation and movement: cars, designers, cubes, etc.,
- they strive to compete, stand out, this desire can be redirected to sporting events.
Boys need to instill respect for girls from an early age. Explain the inadmissibility of fights with them. Talk about the role of men in the family as a protector and head. It is better for the father to do this, and to demonstrate by his example the attitude towards women in the family.
Differences in the psychology of a child 2-3 years old, girls:
- knowledge is better perceived in stages, like repetition and consolidation,
- information is mainly perceived in audio form, so it’s better not to show, but to explain,
- girls are not indifferent to bright and beautiful things. For games, dolls and soft toys are suitable for them, with which you can play scenes,
- they are sensitive to affection and more in need of manifestation of tenderness than boys.
Girls 2-3 years old can purchase sets of dishes, furniture and household appliances so that they can play hostesses. They strive to imitate mothers and love to help with the housework. This will help them develop a desire to take care of someone, to show maternal feelings.
Tasks for children who have not yet mastered speech
Not always a baby in 2 years can speak. This should not be a cause for concern if he understands when he is being addressed, fulfills the requests of his parents, and looks directly in the eyes during communication. He will certainly speak over time. We need to talk more with him, read books, sing songs to him. It is also important for intellectual development to use fine motor skills.
The formation of speech depends in part on the physical development of the baby. In addition to practicing fine motor skills, one must allow him to play outdoor games (cycling, climbing sports equipment, stairs). It is useful to purchase a sorter toy with at least 4 different shapes. During the game, you must call the geometric shape and use your fingers to feel the boundaries of the contour. Dip into the appropriate hole.
You can not limit the boy in transfusion of water and pouring any objects from one form to another. You only need to first create a site that is easier to clean. You can make applications, cut, sculpt balls and sausages from plasticine, draw figures. All these actions are useful for the development of the baby.
At the age of 3 years it is already possible to instill in children a love for their native places, to develop citizenship. It should begin with the development of self-esteem, nobility in relation to others in everyday life, the study of national culture. If you present it in an interesting way, children will quickly learn everything. The easiest way to instill patriotic education with the help of animation. There are many cartoons, both modern and Soviet, which convey the noble and strong images of knights, Russian heroes, as well as courageous, self-sacrificing women.
Psychologist's advice to parents on raising a child of 2-3 years
Until the baby reaches the age of 2–2.5 years, it makes no sense to punish him. He still does not feel the culprit of the incident. He sees the result of his actions, but does not connect it with himself, and does not realize how this happened. The only thing he will endure from punishment or censure is that he is bad and they do not like him.
Until a certain time, one must refrain from angry tirades and detailed explanations of how to not do it. The kid is still not able to understand them. At this stage, sufficiently clear and reasonable restrictions and prohibitions.
From about 2.5 years old, the child begins to feel himself an independent personality, and he is already able to understand who is to blame for the incident. He realizes that some actions are good and delight loved ones, while others are bad. But he is still learning to control himself, and from time to time will continue to act contrary.
Often at this age, children make imaginary friends on whom they shift the responsibility for bad deeds. This allows the baby not to feel guilty about the offense. It is important to understand the motives of his behavior. To do this, you need to discuss the incident with the baby, and help correct the situation. This should be done in a calm, friendly tone, then he will not be afraid of punishment and will willingly explain what motivated them.
At the age of three, children often behave badly, determining the boundaries of what is permitted and acting in spite of their parents. This gives them a sense of maturity and independence. If punished for misconduct, then instead of obedience, the baby will show resistance. It is important at this stage to be patient, over time, relations with the baby will improve.
To begin with, it’s worth understanding what a child aged 2-3 years should be able to do. However, it is equally important to find out what conditions it is necessary to provide for the baby so that he does not lag behind peers. Full and comprehensive development is promoted not only by education, but also by:
- well-designed daily routine
- balanced diet,
- active games, physical education.
If the baby is growing under normal conditions, the parents pay him enough attention, there will be no problems in physical development. A child at this age can well follow the instructions of adults, as well as act at their own discretion, achieving their goals. So, the basic skills and characteristic stages of the development of the child in the interval of 2-3 years:
- The ability to walk, run, jump, move on toes, on heels, crouch, cross a low threshold.
- Play with the ball - throw it to someone, get into the basket, the wall.
- After a short workout, catch the ball with both hands.
- Imitate the behavior of other people. Play by repeating the actions of mom, dad, older sister or brother.
- In parallel, perform more than one action - for example, jump by clapping your hands.
- Learns to ride a bicycle - masters a four- or three-wheeled model.
- Try swimming, skating, skiing, rollerblading.
Next, we list the features of the development of children 2-3 years old - their intellectual, logical thinking. All of these standards are approved by specialists in the upbringing, mental and physical development of babies. Moreover, they are only indicative. If a two-year-old does not reach the average level in some ways, it makes sense to work with him in this direction. We will figure out what a child should understand, remember, and also how much he should be able to express his thoughts and emotions.
The development of memory, logical thinking
The attention of a 2-year-old child is still unstable, but the older he gets, the more time he can spend on any one lesson. Closer to three years, the baby should be able to hold attention for 10-15 minutes if something interests him. This may be a new toy, a cartoon, classes with mom.
What can a child:
- correctly connect the details of a collapsible toy, which has at least 4 components - assemble a pyramid, make a picture of simple puzzles, build a tower of cubes,
- be able to determine an object according to one of its details - the wings belong to the butterfly, the wheels from the machine,
- determine what color the subject is,
- to be able to distinguish - the same toys or different, which doll is big and which is small,
- distinguish the shape of objects - square, circle, triangle,
- understand the meaning of the definitions - this toy is soft, tea is warm, the chair is heavy,
- identify the missing parts in the picture - which character the artist forgot to draw a tail, who does not have enough ears, etc.,
- find an item according to its characteristics,
- to be able to tell mom what he saw in the picture, photographs - how many characters are in the house, what each of them does, what he is dressed in,
- talk about what he was doing all day.
If any of the above is not yet available to the child, then you need to train this skill. Proper education of the baby implies stimulation of logical thinking: to teach to retell what is heard, to describe pictures, to concentrate.
Score and logic
The baby at this young age should already be guided in simple mathematical concepts. The child can already be taught to count, to explain that the account is made from left to right. Make sure that the little student does not miss numbers when calculating. In the third year of the baby's life, you can learn:
- count to 5,
- remember that there are five fingers on the hands,
- compared - larger, smaller, wider, longer,
- the understanding that a picture has a lot of objects, or one object,
- correlate words with familiar numbers - three chairs in a room, two windows,
- show what’s above, what’s below.
Speech and vocabulary
During this period of life, the child is actively increasing vocabulary. It is believed that a three-year-old child may well have a dictionary of 1200-1500 words. It is at this age that the ability to compose simple phrases consisting of 3-4 words is formed. By the age of three, the baby will be able to freely apply complex sentences. He must perceive adult speech at such a level that he understands the essence of short stories, perceive a description of an object that he does not currently see, or of any event. At this age, children:
- They know the names of the objects that they see that they and their parents use. Understand their function, degree of importance.
- They orient themselves in such generalizations: “animals”, “birds”, “transport”, “dishes”, determine what of what they see belongs to a certain group.
- Begin to master the words denoting actions. They know how to say that the car is traveling, the plane is flying, mom is cooking soup, the bear in the picture is eating.
- They understand what the meaning of some professions is, understand what a seamstress, a driver, a postman do.
- Answer simple questions. If the baby is inclined to answer in monosyllables, it is necessary to stimulate him to give a detailed answer.
- Ask questions to adults.
- They can know a couple of simple poems up to 4 lines.
- With the help of mom, they try to make a story according to a drawing or photo.
- They recognize animals or cartoon characters by their characteristic sounds - the pig makes “oink-oink”, the cow “moo”, the sparrow tweets.
- Children by the age of three can use a noun, verbs, definitions in speech.
- The child tries to communicate not only with adults, but also with children.
Time for games and creativity
The game is a powerful incentive in the development of the child. With its help, he expresses himself, learns to imitate adults, imperceptibly remembers the names of objects, the sequence of actions in a given situation. The development of a child aged 2-3 years implies that he can:
- remember the words of counters, songs, poems,
- draw with pencils, felt-tip pens, sculpt balls, sausages from plasticine,
- happy to engage in creativity under the guidance of an adult.
Mom and Dad are required to realize that the development of fine motor skills creates the prerequisites for improving speech, memory, attention. It is advisable to provide the baby with game items of this type:
- puzzles, matryoshkas, pyramids, various sorters, designers, mosaics,
- sets for imitating adulthood - plastic dishes, a doctor’s case, equipment for a store, etc.,
- educational literature, age books (we recommend reading: educational books for children 3-4 years old).
In the third year of life, the child demonstrates features that parents should remember. At this age, the psychology of the baby is such that he does not accept pressure and tries to get the maximum freedom. It is necessary to try to give him more rights, but at the same time to clarify that the crumbs had certain responsibilities. For example, remove the cubes, fold the constructor, wash your hands. It is important not to force the baby to do anything, but to create the conditions so that he wants to do it himself. We list the characteristic psychological features of children 2-3 years old:
- the nervous system can already withstand stress, the child is less susceptible to mood swings, he’s less likely to have tantrums, mental health is stronger, sometimes he can hide strong emotions,
- the waking period is extended up to 7 hours,
- perseverance develops, patience, determination develops,
- he can no longer instantly switch from one game to another, this happens more smoothly than before.
A child at this age is constantly improving his skills. Right now, a leap in the development of fine motor skills can occur, which allows the baby to learn a lot. For example, put on socks, slippers, unfasten buttons, eat carefully from a spoon, without leaving stains on clothes.
Also, this period is characterized by the desire for socialization, the search for contact with peers, self-awareness in adult society. It is noted that a baby closer to 36 months can already:
- adopt the style of society, comply with the rules adopted in kindergarten, at home, on the playground,
- repeat the actions of adults, their gestures, words, notice some characteristic features.
Familiar to many mothers, the desire to do something on their own does not disappear anywhere, the child also tries to perform some complex actions for him himself. At this age, self-awareness arises - the baby no longer speaks about himself in the third person, he can begin to use the pronoun "I".
Right now, parents notice signs of the notorious “crisis of three years”. It is very important to outline the permissible boundaries of independence and not to deviate from the agreed rules. For example, mom and dad have the right to forbid the baby to use electrical appliances unattended, open windows, and pick up a knife. At the same time, he can very well cope with cutlery for children - a fork and a spoon, wash his own hands, standing on a small stool, etc.
Parents should clearly understand what the baby needs and try to create conditions in which he will feel comfortable. Raising a baby, it is wrong to go to extremes: allow permissiveness or strenuously patronize the baby. We will highlight the key points that parents of children of this age should take into account:
- Raising a child at 2 years of age implies all kinds of encouragement of independence, praise at each new achievement (see also: what, if properly developed, should a child of 2 and a half years old be able to?).
- Show your attitude to his efforts, make it clear that mom and dad are not indifferent to the result.
- Do not seize the initiative and do not bring what the child has begun to the end, if he did not succeed in doing it himself. It is better to ease the conditions of the task, give advice for its solution, and stimulate to fulfill it again.
- Mom and dad should not laugh or joke if the baby does not succeed.
- To be patient, remember that it takes time for the baby to learn any action.
- Do not scold the baby, nervously yanking if he could not do something accurately, or broke the toy, trying to understand how it is arranged.
- Demonstrate trust and confidence that he will cope with the task.
Proper education of a child aged 2-3 years is a constant encouragement, incentive to overcome difficulties, preparation for the fact that not everything is simple. It is very important to form a belief in one's own strength in a child. For example, if he could not do something, calm him down, say what will happen next time. In this case, the crumb will be psychologically easier to cope with the task.
Each child is a person with his interests and desires, a vision of the world. The task of parents is not to reject his attitude, destroying mental health, not to force him to meet his own standards, but in every way to support the desire for self-expression and independence. It is necessary to direct the child’s interest in the right direction, and strive to arrange so that he learns to make decisions himself, and also bear responsibility for them. Patience and a positive attitude will help mom, dad and baby survive a difficult but very interesting period called the “crisis of 3 years of life”.
Raising a child in 2-3 years has a number of features and not always pleasant. Parents are faced with many problems in which psychology helps to solve, but for this it is worthwhile to devote a sufficient amount of time to raising their child.
Children who have reached the age of two often show their character, bother adults with their obstinacy, whims, reject their help, throw tantrums, can become almost tyrants in the house. Parents, in turn, cannot understand what is happening with the colors of their life.
Also at this age, the motor function actively develops, so they become very active and strive to touch everything to visit everywhere. Adults should be tolerant and treat this with understanding, be flexible in raising their children.
Kids who are three years old begin to feel like a personality, but due to lack of experience they don’t know how to show their individuality, independence, perseverance, in which direction to direct their activity to achieve their goals.
During this period, children should be trained and guided, let them feel on an equal footing with adults, and pay due attention to their upbringing.
The tasks of raising and educating children
Parenting a child from 2 years old should include a number of actions, which must be performed during this difficult period to facilitate both his life and his parents:
- to be consistent, to ensure a certain regimen of the day, so that the baby knows what to expect and gets used to it,
- try to avoid stressful situations, not to force to do something against the will, and if necessary, try to captivate the process,
- to be able to understand the baby and put himself in his place, thereby smoothing out the sharp corners in his behavior, this can help to avoid many problems,
- use the art of distraction, if a child refuses to do something that an adult requires, do not force him, it is better to try to distract with something else no less useful,
- in any situation, give time to comprehend actions, words, actions,
- keep balance and calm during tantrums, find soft ways to calm,
- encourage for good behavior, focus on this,
- to be able to compromise, not to demand too much, to know the difference between “necessary” and “not necessary”.
Sensory development Children 2-3 years old through didactic games helps to achieve good results. It is aimed at the correct formation: hearing, vision, taste, smell and touch. Development through such games can be started earlier, but according to the name of psychologists, from 2 to 3 years old, children very quickly grasp new information.
Some examples of didactic games:
- propose to decorate a sheet of paper with multi-colored patterns according to the proposed pattern,
- assemble a picture from various figures in accordance with the figure,
- Ask to find objects resembling simple geometric shapes.
How to raise a baby correctly tips
In all books on psychology, it is advised to begin the education of independence up to 2 years, this will be the basis for the formation of the personality of the baby in the future, especially when the time comes to send him to kindergarten.
Psychology of raising a child 2-3 years of advice:
- setting a daily routine, this will allow the child to be more confident in everything he does,
- to be a good role model, every kid tries to be like his parents, therefore it is very important to behave with dignity, then it will be logical to demand the same from your son or daughter,
- give a correct understanding of what is good and what is bad, giving examples from life, reading children's tales,
- establish simple but clear rules of behavior, explain why they should be followed.
Difficulties in raising a child 2 - 3 years
This period is characterized by a crisis of two years. There is a sudden change in behavior for the worse. The main feature of this crisis is hysterical behavior: screams, tears, obstinacy, unprecedented aggression.
In terms of psychology at this time should be very careful about raising a child:
- to respond calmly, to compromise,
- during tantrums it’s better to leave the baby alone in the room for a short while so that he can calm down faster without the public
- explain the reasons for his actions, if he objects to them,
- Avoid places where the child may overwork, get hungry, start acting up,
- do not force others to give their toys, at this age the baby does not understand why he should give his favorite things to others,
- Do not scold, if the baby experiences a feeling of anger, it is better to hug and calm him.
Any situation and problem during this time should be resolved calmly and amiably. Children, no matter how small they are, always feel love, support, respect, understanding and learn from their parents.
Features of age 2 - 3 years
Up to 3 years, children do not demonstrate how well-educated they are. The behavior consists of the characteristics of temperament: the formation of personality. The preferences and worldview of the crumbs change several times a day, which complicates the task of the parents. The psychology of a child at 3 years old has its own characteristics:
- Mental development in babies of this age makes a leap. With kids, you can do a variety of things aimed at developing motor skills: modeling, appliqués, lacing. Motor skills directly affect memory and thinking. The crumbs wake up interest in new types of activities, and the task of parents is to provide him with access to new knowledge.
- A child of 3 years old begins to develop imagination, he learns to play independently. Try not to take up all the time with developing activities, let the child be alone with toys. Get cubes for him, several dolls, toys in the form of animals, and a constructor. After some time, you will notice that the baby masters unusual structures or begins to play simple role-playing scenes (feeding, laying down to sleep). You should not be scared that at the same time he will talk out loud, without speaking to anyone.
- The living mind of a three-year-old begins to grasp everything on the fly, his memory develops. You can help him with this with the help of short quatrains. If the baby remembers poetry well, start learning useful information: the baby’s name and surname, age, names of surrounding objects, names of relatives and parents. Take time daily to read fairy tales and poems.For reading, choose complex poetry, you do not need to memorize it, for example, Pushkin's tales, verses of Marshak and Chukovsky.
- Reading will help develop another important skill - speech. If a family uses two languages, this period will be the best for learning them. Note that in older preschool children, language abilities are reduced.
- Difficulties can arise with the emotional state of the baby. Tantrums 2-3 times a week are considered normal. More frequent screams and cries for no reason require close attention of parents. With their help, the baby empirically determines the boundaries of its influence.
- Another important difference in the behavior of a three-year-old is the desire to do everything independently. Do not limit it to this, otherwise the initiative will quickly disappear. Find an activity that the child can do.
- The natural process of growing up begins, which is often difficult for parents to accept. Women try to delay this moment, they get used to the dependence of children and do not want to accept their independence. Communication with mom becomes less close, which is the norm. To develop sociability, regularly take the baby to the children's team. He needs to communicate with other people. The third year of life is the best period for learning the simplest rules of etiquette (thanks, greetings, apologies, silence).
In the third year of life, the highest priority must be given to the behavior of the child in society.
Try to convey information to the baby in the form of a game. Strict prohibitions negatively affect the educational process and can cause inappropriate behavior, tantrums. Observe the daily routine. Refrain from clarifying relationships with your spouse in the presence of children. They react negatively to such manifestations of emotions on the part of parents.
The difference between boys and girls
After two years, children begin to become aware of their gender. Emphasize differences with appropriate clothing. The fastest sexual awareness occurs in the children's team. It is noticeable in the division of preschoolers into groups for communication.
Features of raising boys are that they need to explain from an early age about the inadmissibility of fights with girls, about the role of protector and future head of the family. This is easiest to explain if the father is an example to the son.
It is too early for girls to instill special skills. Encourage their passion for dressing and dressing. Girls often imitate moms and seek to help with housekeeping or cooking. Get them themed sets of toys that imitate kitchen appliances and household appliances. This will allow the baby at any time to try on the role of the mistress of the house.
Features of the organization of classes
In the age period of 2-3 years, it is necessary to deal with the child in many ways. At this time, education should be:
You have to instill in the crumb the simplest self-service skills and give courtesy lessons. Three years is the best time for this.
The main mistake of parents is planning long hours of classes and trying to learn a lot of new things for them. The three-year-old needs only 10-15 minutes to gain new knowledge, after which it is necessary to change the type of activity.
If the baby is not set up to do it, replace the lesson with reading, listening to music, and watching educational films. Activities should be calm so that the change in the regimen of the day is not felt.
Psychologists recommend the use of sensory didactic games. They bring good results, developing a baby in several directions at once: improve fine motor skills, improve imagination and learn to build logical chains. An example of such a game is a mosaic. First lay out the patterns together, and then let the crumbs independently compose a picture.
Features of different temperaments
Often problems and disobedience arise due to the wrong approach to raising a child. If you do not take into account the individual characteristics of your child, then very often you will encounter misunderstanding and tantrums. All people are divided into 4 groups according to the type of temperament, for each baby it is laid from birth. However, there are no ideal representatives of one or another group. The division occurs on the basis of the predominance of traits characteristic of one of the temperaments.
- Sanguine people are often called trouble-free children. Representatives of this group are characterized by the absence of loud tantrums with falling to the floor, mobility, high self-esteem, lack of sleep problems and a strong nervous system. But these are cunning children: parents often take their word for it and follow their lead. They cannot be forced to do what they do not want. The main problem of sanguine people is a lie, it must be stopped, and the baby's words checked. Also, they should not be often praised a lot.
- The most difficult in education are melancholy. They are characterized by: vulnerability, difficulties when changing the environment, fatigue, high sensitivity. In no case should one shout at them, as this is tantamount to physical violence. One cannot shame representatives of this type, especially to discuss his failures with other children.
- Phlegmatic people are the most balanced. They are drowsy, slow and rarely show their emotions. They need to demonstrate everything by their example, engage in joint activities with them and try to engage in active games.
- Choleric is distinguished by anxious sleep, short temper, activity, mobility. They make a lot of noise. The danger is that people of this type often lead an asocial lifestyle, are aggressive towards their peers and are home tyrants. You can not punish them physically or not notice. Promote your life principles.
The main task of parents is to form a character in the child that will smooth out the flaws of temperament. An individual approach will allow you to do this as efficiently and gently as possible. Try to avoid direct and unreasonable prohibitions.
Bans: conscious and not
With a direct ban, any child of three years will protest, but you can’t completely get rid of this educational moment. By prohibiting, you establish a “border”, which you can’t cross. You can use restrictions to correct the behavior of crumbs in society and to protect it.
Parents often use prohibitions out of habit. In childhood, they were often limited by themselves, and they consciously create a framework for their child. Filter information and prohibit only what is really necessary.
Each restriction included in the educational process needs to be explained. He must have a clear reason that needs to be said. Tell us about the consequences of breaking the ban. These should not be threats of reprisal, but constructive and logical conclusions. For example, in a situation when you refuse to buy an ice cream for a child: the cause is weak immunity, the explanation is frequent illnesses, and the consequences of the violation are long-term treatment.
There is a group of irrational prohibitions that must be excluded from the educational process. Unconscious limitations have reasons:
- The principle "you - to me, I - to you." The child behaved badly on a walk, for this the parents deprived him of sweet or did not buy the previously promised toy.
- Envy. Beautiful clothes, delicious food and good toys - many children of the 90s were deprived of these benefits. Now they are absolutely without reason putting restrictions on children that do not have a protective function and educational component.
- Increased anxiety and excessive custody. Most often, this reason pushes mothers to unconscious prohibitions. Women try to protect the first-born from all and preschool with poor health. For this reason, many children do not communicate with peers, do not have a dog, a bicycle, a skateboard, etc. at home.
Do not forbid your child to engage in his hobbies, even if these are computer games. Awareness from such a restriction does not come, the baby will feel only annoyance. Do not put too tight a framework, the behavior needs to be adjusted gently. The tone is important: it should not be judgmental.
Growing up is not possible without awareness of boundaries. During a crisis of three years, each preschooler checks parents for consistency in constraints. Mom banned eating ice cream in the morning, and dad bought the desired popsicle for a walk. The baby understands that dad is easier to manipulate, he is in charge. In the future, he will often ask dad to confirm his mother’s words. A similar example can be given with any relatives involved in the upbringing. Grandmother’s bans are often canceled. With inconsistency in upbringing, children's tantrums often arise that cannot be succumbed to.
Alena is a regular expert at the PupsFull portal. She writes articles about psychology, parenting and learning and games for the child.
Features of the development of children in 2-3 years
- After 2 years, most children noticeably improve their speech, their vocabulary is growing, they begin to build simple sentences of 2-3 words.
- At this age, children almost completely master the skills of self-service: they go to the potty on their own, wash their hands, carefully eat with a spoon, drink from a mug, and can dress and undress.
- Breastfeeding completely leaves, the child eats adult food and even more vividly displays his culinary preferences.
- Most children in 2-3 years begin to go to kindergarten. The most favorable period for starting his visit is considered to be when a child reaches the age of 3 years, when communication with his mother gradually begins to weaken, a desire to communicate with peers appears. Adaptation to kindergarten in this case is less painful.
- The child actively explores the boundaries of what is permitted, learns the rules of conduct and checks the parents for strength. Surely you noticed that your child has already learned to “trick”, observes the reaction of adults to their actions, can behave very differently with mom, dad, grandmother and other relatives.
- The kid continues to manipulate objects even more actively, his actions become more accurate, his coordination of movements improves.
- By the age of two, the child knows the actions of people, animals, the purpose of objects, for example, that “the bird is flying,” “the machine is traveling,” “they are washing their hands with soap,” etc.
- Toddlers at this age are very excitable. But reassuring them is sometimes very difficult.
- Imitation of adults is becoming the main way to learn different skills.
- The baby’s craving for independence intensifies, because he already knows so many things! Increasingly, you can hear the phrase from him: “I myself!”, When once again you want to help him in something. Therefore, the upbringing of a child aged 2-3 years is important to build on giving him the opportunity to choose, promoting initiative and physical activity.
- Many children aged 2-3 years show a tendency to one or another type of activity: drawing, modeling from plasticine, picking up the designer, role-playing games, etc. Of course, this cannot be called sustainable interests, but certain personality traits of the child can already manifest during these classes.
- The imagination is actively developing, the kid is fantasizing. This is usually noticeable in his speech, game, drawings.
- The range of emotions is expanding significantly. The child can demonstrate joy, delight, surprise, affection, embarrassment, pity, disappointment, anger, fear, sympathy, etc.
- After 2 years, interest in peers appears, the baby wants to communicate, play, make friends with other children. At the same time, interaction with adults also remains significant for him.
Psychology of boys and girls in 2-3 years: are there any differences?
At this age, children can distinguish between boys and girls according to external signs: clothing and behavior.
- Differences appear at the level of trends. For example, it cannot be said that speech development in all girls proceeds faster than in boys. But still, more often girls take possession of speech before boys.
- Boys develop visual-spatial abilities faster.
- In most cases, boys later get used to the potty.
- In boys, large motor skills develop faster, in girls - fine.
How to overcome the crisis?
- First of all, take for granted that the child has a crisis and arm yourself with knowledge about child psychology and development during this period.
- Get the principle: exercise maximum patience. When raising a child after 2 years, he will need even more.
- Take the resistance and failures of your crumbs as a training to express your opinion. It so happened that the baby first on the parents must "work out" various techniques and behaviors, and only then transfer them to society. If he is not given this opportunity, then in the future he may have problems with adaptation in society.
- Do not try to “break” and firmly suppress the child’s protest and expression of anger. This will only increase the distance between you and undermine his trust in you. Try to “gently guide” and calmly uphold your position.
- Instead of “not,” more often say how to act and behave.
- Do not scream or apply physical punishment. If the child is behaving aggressively, let him know with his facial expressions and intonation that you are unpleasant and he is doing something bad.
- Allow him to act independently where possible. Be near, guide, support.
Tips for raising children in 2-3 years
The tasks of raising and educating children:
- Favorably overcome the age crisis,
- observe the middle ground between prohibitions and excessive freedom of action,
- develop creativity
- promote speech development,
- help to actively learn the norms and rules of behavior in society,
- develop the emotional sphere, allow you to openly express your feelings,
- instill responsiveness to people, friendliness,
- to encourage initiative and the desire to be independent.
How to raise a child after 2 years
- The main example for a child is you. He observes your behavior, copies it, reflects your emotional state, and sometimes is in the same mood as you. Therefore, you must first educate yourself, and only then - the child.
- Praise the baby for his skills and proper behavior.
- Take seriously all the problems and fears of the child, even if it seems to you that they are "well, really nothing." For your crumbs, everything that bothers him is important. Let him speak, listen carefully, be near and support.
- Play actively with the baby, give characteristics to different characters. With the help of the game, the child better learns how to behave.
- Use fairy tales (including invent yourself) in order to more effectively influence your child: to form the correct attitudes, norms of behavior, help cope with fears.
- Take an interest in your baby’s preferences: “What is your favorite color?”, “What do you like to play?”, “What kind of animals do you like?”
- Let your child express their feelings, call them to help him learn to understand them. For example: “Are you angry” or “The girl is crying, you feel sorry for her, right?”
- Watching cartoons or reading books, comment on the behavior of the characters, discuss with your child which of them did well and which did wrong. Ask the crumbs how they feel which of them he likes.
- Promote your child’s acquaintance with other children: regularly visit the playgrounds, visiting. Talk with your baby about friendship and helping others. Usually, a visit to a special children's center, where the child is simultaneously with her mother and interacts with her peers, has a good effect on development.
- Actively involve your child in joint affairs, give simple tasks, encourage his desire to help you.
- Be flexible and for any disobedience and protest try to see the true reasons for this behavior to gently correct it.
- Always with the help of affection and words, let the child understand that you love him no matter how he behaves.
No matter how difficult and responsible the upbringing of a child in 2-3 years may seem, this process is, at the same time, interesting and contributing to the development of the parents themselves. Love for your baby and the ability to choose the right behavior in relation to him will create the basis for turning from a rebel into your assistant and an independent initiative person.
Let's start with the worst - tantrums
When you read child psychology, the feeling that crises under 18 will not end, or maybe up to 100 ... Only we successfully survived the crisis of 1 year, a new one started right away.
We coped with tantrums simply. If the baby started a tantrum, then we laid him on the bed, he screamed for about 5 minutes, then he calmed down. When he calmed down, he got out of bed and came to hug me. And all the time, while he was crying, no one kept him, he lay until he calmed down. In 3.5 years, tantrums ended. Another kind of tantrum when a child screams and gets angry and wants to somehow direct this anger at you, either hit or bite. This was rare with us, but when it happened, I took him in my arms and hugged him tightly, he calmed down in 1-2 minutes.
At this age, or rather, under the age of 5 years, children do not know how to control their emotions, they learn to do it.
The main thing is not to lose your temper, it is better to take the child to another room and wait while he cries, than give him a priest. Since this method, firstly, does not help. Secondly, physical punishment works until a certain age. Thirdly, you will lose trusting relationships with the child, undermine your authority. After all, when it was bad, difficult, you did not help, but took advantage of his defenselessness, used force, did not show an example of behavior, but chose a simple way to solve the problem, convenient for you. The child will not forget this, and if he forgets, then this event will become part of his life, will remain in the subconscious, recorded as a program of behavior in such situations.
Why physical punishment is a bad method
As soon as the child becomes physically strong and can give change, he will either do so or simply leave. Thus, in adolescence, you will not have an instrument of influence. And if he does something bad, but at this age - it’s not just getting dirty in a puddle, you can’t save him from a bad situation or influence in any way, because you don’t have authority, you aren’t able to solve problems. Yes, and it will be more difficult for you to solve problems in a different way, except to yell and fight, because you are used to this simple method. And after 40 years, when you will already be more dependent on children, when you will need pity, perhaps support, the child will not feel pity for you, understanding, will even experience irritation with any problem, a reminder of you.
If the baby loves to listen to fairy tales, then therapeutic tales are very helpful at this age, with the help of which at night, before bedtime, when the child is calm, you can discuss all the conflicts that occurred during the day and show the child how he, using the example of a fairy tale hero, can come out from a situation, how to solve conflicts, how to avoid tantrums.
Some features of development
It is interesting to observe on the playgrounds different styles of upbringing and the interaction between mom and baby. One mother is too strict, and the other completely does not notice the illegal actions of the offspring. Why it happens? The child, of course, is a blank sheet on which you can draw what you need, but having given birth myself, I radically changed my mind.
Much depends on the temperament of the baby, his mother. It is difficult to keep an overactive baby in place, parents are exhausting, complaining about activity and restlessness. But I can please you a little. The psychiatrist makes the diagnosis of hyperactivity quite rarely, and excessive mobility, impatience pass by themselves, to adolescence. It is important to accustom the fidget to the regime so that the child learns to plan his time. Some features of the development of children 2-3 years old:
- The kid learns the world through imitation. Adult is the standard. Do not ask where it suddenly came from (gesture or action). Everything from you, dear parents.
- The leading activity is with objects (the crumbs will reach peers closer to the 3-year mark). Help your child discover new things, show what you can do with objects.
- Active development of speech function. If up to 18 months the speech is formed quite slowly, then after 2 years the baby can consciously perform complex actions at the command of an adult. Passive vocabulary is expanding rapidly. The baby shows interest in the conversation of adults, listens, tries to understand what it is about.
- In this age period, the child gradually learns to master those norms of behavior that are accepted in society.
- The child’s actions are involuntary, spontaneous, he does not plan to take away a toy from anyone in advance, this decision comes to him suddenly. Children are not yet able to plan their actions.
- The baby begins to actively use facial expressions in communication with peers and adults.
- He knows his body. It studies its properties in different positions.
The child is easily charged with the feelings of other children, if someone nearby will cry and your baby can scream loudly. But to empathize, to put himself in the place of another, he still does not know how.
Speech and physical development
If the baby does not speak, but understands the speech addressed, is able to fulfill the commands and requests of the adult, actively imitates, looks directly into the eyes - there is nothing to fear. He will speak a little later, you will not close your mouth, believe me (I had just such a silent person). Read more tales, poems, folk tricks. Develop fine motor skills.
Remember, for the faster formation of speech, the general physical development of the crumbs is important. Along with finger games, teach children to climb stairs, ride a three-wheeled small bike. If you can’t pedal, I recommend the article WHAT TO DO IF THE CHILD DOES NOT SPEED THE PEDALS
This is the knowledge of the forms and properties of objects. When buying a sorter, pay attention that there should not be more than 4 different forms in it (enough to start). First, you give the child a shape (circle, square), introduce it to her, then with a finger draw the boundaries of the figure, lower it into a suitable hole. Allow the baby to pour water, pour objects from one form to another. Just prepare the site in advance to make it easier to clean. Cut out. Glue, draw simple geometric shapes. Roll sausages and balls from plasticine. This is what you need to do at a young preschool age.
It is hard to imagine how a 2-year-old baby can talk about Russia. But since childhood, the foundations of morality have been laid. Develop noble feelings for yourself, refer to the origins of national, moral culture in everyday life. Children quickly memorize and absorb everything like a sponge. The simplest patriotic upbringing is cartoons, old cartoons Soyuzmultfilm filled with bright strong images of real heroes, strong women ("blue eyes", "wild swans").
Children love dancing to the music. Arrange every morning exercises, and in the evening a small disco. Choose music carefully, it should have a clear rhythm and restrained pace. Teach the baby to squat, put a foot on a sock or heel, spin around yourself, have fun jumping. Develop hearing and coordination.
What to do to parents, advice from psychologists
The main thing is to keep calm. Remember:
- do not practice physical punishment
- punish in fact, and not after some time, the baby simply will not connect these two events,
- teach independence
- encourage the baby. At this age, the baby may already feel proud when praised,
- do not contradict in matters of education,
- adjust the mode
- spend a lot of time outdoors
- when offering something, give the right of imaginary choice (will you be this? - or that?),
- do not go about tantrums (tears for tears).
The right of choice helped us a lot. A child, for example, does not want to go for a walk. You do not ask this question at all if you need to go. And ask, for example, "what hat will you wear." When the baby got the right to choose, he will immediately calm down, because they listened to him. But in no case do not ask if he wants to go for a walk, if you need to go to the store, because if he answers “no” and you go anyway, it will be an injury for him, you will not recognize his opinion.
Do you like the article? I tried to fill the article with bright, joyful photos so that you remember that the tantrums are not eternal. And there are many joyful and pleasant moments, and the more of them there are, the calmer and more cheerful you are. This age just needs to wait out and keep yourself dignified, so that the child has an example of how to behave in crisis situations and how to control your emotions.
Share an article on social networks, discuss disputed issues together. After all, as you know, truth is born in a dispute. Have a nice day, and I went to play with my son!
This terrible permissiveness
How tired I am of responding to indignant comments on my posts that threaten my children with a terrible future because of our “permissiveness”! I'm tired of it, because almost every post in social networks about my attitude to oil spilled over a year or about harmless pranks, there is someone "partial". And every time you have to write the same thing. Sometimes you just want to ignore the comment. But then I understand that it is important to repeat. Repeat many times. So that one of the mothers destroyed old stereotypes.
So, the good news: permissiveness does not threaten your child. It is simply impossible to organize it. Impossible. If you are a normal mother, you will not allow your baby to play with fire, get out of the window, run along the roadway, etc. So, in any case, your child’s behavior will have some boundaries. And he will begin to master them from birth.
From birth, the child is faced with the fact that life is not always the way we would like. Even if you practice natural parenthood, give breasts at first peep and carry the baby in a sling around the clock. From the first months, the child is already something impossible.
For example, babies should not roll over at the edge of the couch. If he rolls over like that, he will fall. However, no normal mother will try to convey this to a three-month-old baby.
Imagine a mother waving her finger menacingly in front of such a baby and saying: “Nopeless !!” And then, when the child did fall, he said: “Why aren’t you obeying ?! How naughty you are! Now you will know! I see that you understand everything! Your eyes are already smart, and you can perfectly pronounce “agu”! You understand everything, but don’t obey! Who will grow out of you ?! ”
Roughly the same thing happens even when a child turns one year old. I wrote about this in the article "A child in 1 year does not obey." This situation continues in 2 years. And even longer. Although in 2-3 years the baby is already responding to many prohibitions. And it seems that he is already so smart. Reacts to many of your words and prohibitions, but. Not at all.
What is wrong with bans?
Up to 5-7 years, the child’s brain is not yet ripe enough for an adequate perception of prohibitions. This does not mean that until 5 years you will not utter the word "no" at all. Unfortunately this is not possible. But you need to pronounce this word as rarely as possible.
Our eldest daughter is now almost 4 years old. And she already knows "no." And even - oh, a miracle! - in most cases, she listens well. But even now, at 4 years old, any prohibitions are difficult for her. And if I start saying “you can’t” often, whims, tantrums and all signs of overexcitation begin. This is in 4 years! What can we say about the baby of two years?
In fact, in 1-3 years the prohibitions are not so terrible - the child easily ignores them. At this age, the correct strategy is: "You can not scold or chastise the baby for the fact that he does not obey."
Up to 5 years, children should not be scolded at all. At this age, the baby will never understand that you "love him very much, but are angry at his bad behavior." And the only thing you will achieve is that the child will feel bad and unloved.
How to set boundaries
The parenting strategy is very simple. Extremely simple. If a three-month-old baby lies near the edge of the sofa - what are you doing? That's right, take it and take it to a safe place. And in general, try not to put the baby on the sofa. Around the same time, we respond to the behavior of a baby 2-3 years old.
Of course, taking a two-year-old from the edge is much more difficult. But the essence remains the same. And gradually, as it grows, the little one learns to perceive these boundaries.
If the kid grabs something forbidden and dangerous - we select. Climbing on something too high or fragile - remove. It behaves inappropriately - we take it to another place.
Ideally, distract the little one with something more interesting. This is the best you can do. Does not work? At least just take pity. Yes, Godasik will scream, kick and give his protest in every way. But you still calmly and lovingly pick him up from a dangerous place.
What is important to pay attention to?
- There should be as few bans as possible! Try to remove everything forbidden and dangerous to where the baby does not reach.
- When the baby is approaching the forbidden - you can put it mildly, "do not take" or something like that. Shake your head. But gently, without threat or aggression.
- Did the kid climb the forbidden closet anyway? Take it off calmly from there. And help him survive the whole spectrum of emotions. Help with your compassion, love and patience.
- Gradually, the child will get used to them. Especially if he is already two years old. Gradually, a connection will form in the baby’s head: if you climb in, they’ll still be removed. Therefore, it makes no sense to climb there. But this connection will not have an admixture of fear!
- However, periodically the children again “check the boundaries”. And your task is to react again calmly and with love.
- If the child nevertheless broke something, got dirty, broke it. It’s not his fault. You did not keep track of it. It is your responsibility, not his. Therefore, do not scold the child, but himself.
- And if no one was hurt - do not scold yourself. And just wipe the puddle, wash the closet or collect splinters from the floor. Small troubles are not worth worrying about.
The older the child, the greater the chance that he will respond to your verbal warning. And at 3 years old, many children are ready to obey their parents. No screams and threats! But. Not always. And this also needs to be understood. When the baby at 3-4 years old really wants something, he will ignore your requests. And again, your task is not to scold or demand obedience.
How to communicate with a baby 3-4 years old if he does not want to go home, wash his hands or take off his boots at home is a separate issue. Here you can already try to agree. But at 2 years old this does not make sense.
Therefore, if our youngest son begins to pour water from the bathtub onto the floor, I simply pull it out of the bathtub. Throws food out of a plate? I’m taking the plate. Throws sand at the playground for children? I take it out of the sandbox. All this can be done calmly, without threats. And the boundaries are met, and the mother remained loving.
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